Thoughts…

I realized that it’s so hard to grow up. But it is inevitable. 

Specially when you’ve missed a lot from experiencing a “normal” childhood. Perhaps mine was not really really way too abnormal. Maybe it’s just because there was always “pressure” to excel, to learn things that are beyond the context of what my age should know. It’s a blessing, and a Responsibility at the same time. And having responsibilities is not an easy task. Perhaps also because as a child, I experienced things that are not supposed to be experienced by a child my age. Perhaps because I was sexually abused by my uncle so there, things started to feel “abnormal.’ Not neglecting the fact that I was always expected to win competitions, to be in the honor list. To always be “perfect” and a “model” student. Now that I’m 30 years old, I realized that I might have missed a lot, but I don’t regret it. Because it made me the person that I am today. Yes I may be child like, but I give due credit to myself for thinking like an adult, if not always, well…most of the time. 

Today was not that hard.. Thank you Lord! Now, I know I am able to manage emotional surges and stress. Yes I got written up for having a big mouth, but…I like it! I actually feel proud that for once in my life I speak out and I was heard. I didn’t get the result that I wanted, but, it’s okay as long as I know that I was heard.  And hurray kat for fighting like a perfectly imperfect girl! It’s just so liberating! 

So, you’ve learned your lesson on how to keep things “professional”. Sometimes, it’s just so hard not to love the people you’re with. But I guess love and friendship also has limitations. For both parties protection, and for  friendship’s sake also. 

I would like to thank my PMS for cooperating =) and my zit for not growing on top of my nose which normally happens everytime I get my monthly exclamation point.

Hurray Kat for speaking up, being heard, showing that#@#@# where he stands, for acting like a gangster, and most specially, for ACCEPTING YOUR FAULT and ACCEPTING THE LESSONS from the experience. =) 

I’m proud of you =)