little girl speaks...

December 8, 2012

It's been a tough week...Oh, this is an understatement...Actually, it has been a tough life! A tough but a beautiful life.

I was able to receive Php304.25 for my very first thirteenth month pay. And I feel like sometimes work makes a fish out of me. A fish that they're trying to ask to climb a tree. But, I've learned a lot from this experience. Who knows what my next job will teach me? I am just very certain that as God has promised, He will fulfill.

Today when I was in the elevator, I wanted to burst into tears as everyone was going to eat out. And I would've loved to join, everyone was going shopping, and how I really really really miss shopping. But knowing that I only have a little left for the next few days, I just told myself that I'm still lucky I have food to eat and clothes to wear. And eating less tasty food will help me lose weight (I'm out of shape and a little overweight.) I wanted to ask God if He has forgotten me and His promises. If he has overlooked on how far I can still endure things. But I realized I'm not even worthy of these things because I have continuously hurt God when I sin.

So many times, how I'd love to slap some mean people in the office and give them a dose of their own medicine, but that will just make me someone like them right? And I would not want to end up becoming one of them.

Sometimes, it's just so hard to respect yourself when you see almost everyone playing you. Not because you are worthy of being played on, it's just that many people needs healing for their conscience. Cry, mourn, grieve, whatever you'd like to call it, but afterwards, dust yourself off and stand up. Things will get better as promised.

God said you reap what you sow, but sometimes I wonder does this happen? Maybe not right now, but I'm praying soon.

(I hate it when lumps form inside your throat and you just couldn't help but burst into tears..)

I'm just really really really really tired. The Little girl inside me needs to rest and to get away from everything. Even for a little while...